Crack Tales of the Chibi Espada
by ShitsandGiggles-TheCrackTwins
Summary: What if the Espada came back, but they were all chibis? Well read this story and find out what happens as they appear at random in the Seireitei. As stated in the title, this is a CRACK fic; just a good old humerous thing to read. There is light yaoi and stuff such as GrimmIchi as well as OCs. Have fun reading!
1. Ulquiorra

Disclaimer – Bleach is not ours! It belongs to Tite Kubo.

Warnings – Foul language, shounen-ai/yaoi, OOC-ness, etc.

AN: Hello, Giggles here. This is mainly my story, Shits just helped when I got writer's block. And P.S Tomoyo is my OC, and Lyla is Shits' OC.

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Today it was raining in the Seireitei. Tomoyo was over with Captain Hitsugaya, helping him with his tower of paperwork. "I hate the rain. It's so depressing." Tomoyo sighed as she looked out the window.

"It's just water." The 10th Division captain replied as he scribbled words on his paperwork.

"I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that it makes me feel gloomy." Tomoyo muttered.

"You know I hate it when you're upset." Captain Hitsugaya sighed and suddenly stopped his work to get up from his desk and walk over to Tomoyo.

"Hey, you have work to do. Don't let me get in the way."

"Well, you certainly aren't helping." Hitsugaya stated.

"Sorry!" Tomoyo pouted. And the whitenette was about to say something else, when something outside caught her attention. "Hmm, what's wrong?" Hitsugaya asked as he noticed Tomoyo's attention leave him.

"I saw something; hmm, I'm going out to check." Tomoyo got up and took her zanpakuto from wall it was leaning against and tied it to her obi.

"Shouldn't I go check it out instead?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine. You just get some more of your paperwork done." Tomoyo replied as she grabbed an umbrella and then walked out the door. About four minutes into the search, Tomoyo finally found something in one of the many dead ends of the Seireitei. She had found a small piece of white cloth. "Hello? Is anyone out here?" Tomoyo called out softly. To the whitenette's surprise, she got a squeak in reply. "Whose there?" Tomoyo asked.

"Ulqui?" Some small critter crawled out from the shadows of the dead end.

"Hmm, hey there little guy. Come here, it's alright, I won't hurt you." Tomoyo squatted down and held out a hand to the creature. The critter's green eyes scanned Tomoyo up and down; and it didn't look like he would move any closer to her. "I know you don't trust me. But don't you at least want to get out of this rain?" Tomoyo asked as she slowly stood up and inched over to the critter to place her umbrella over him. The creature stared at her in surprise and watched Tomoyo slowly get soaked. "Ulqui!" He squeaked and walked over to tug on her pant leg.

"See, I told you I wasn't a monster. Now come here." Tomoyo carefully picked up the little creature. As she held him, she quickly looked him over. He looked like a four year old boy; with the additions of black bat wings that were almost as large as he was, a long black lion-like tail, a set of small horns peaked out from his black hair, and he had fur on his arms and legs, which this fur seemed to cover his more private parts too. The only clothes the boy was wearing was a torn white coat. With the boy safely in her arms, Tomoyo started to walk back to the 10th Division barracks. Tomoyo had planned to talk to the captain about the boy; however, the young white-haired captain was fast asleep on his desk. "Really? I leave for ten minutes and he falls asleep. Then again, it is past eleven at night… Say, how would you like a bath?" Tomoyo looked to the boy in her arms for an answer.

"Ulqui." The boy chirped somewhat happily.

"Good, let's go get you cleaned up." Tomoyo smiled and walked into the bathroom. Once inside, Tomoyo set the boy down and started the water for a bath. This seemed to get the boy to frown. "I know baths are like sitting in your own filth, but a bath is the only way I can clean you. After all, I don't think Toshiro will be very happy if I take a shower with someone." Tomoyo giggled lightly. The boy just rolled his eyes. "Hmph, jerk." Tomoyo muttered; she then grabbed the boy, taking off his coat, and placed him in the bath water. She then gave him a nice scrubbing with soap and shampoo. When finished she drained the water and wrapped the boy up in a fluffy white towel. As Tomoyo began to dry the boy off, she thought out loud, "If you're going to stay here, you're going to need a name."

"Ulqui." The boy chirped.

"Hmm, that sounds familiar. I think the name was Ulquiorra; hey, you like that name?" Tomoyo asked the boy. The black-haired boy nodded in acceptance. "Awesome, now come on Ulquiorra, let's get you to bed." Tomoyo cheered. But before that she remembered that Ulquiorra was practically naked. "But first, I think some clothes are in order." The whitenette then left the bathroom. When she came back she was empty-handed. "Well, I'm sorry, unless you want to wear a diaper, I don't have anything small enough to fit you." Tomoyo pouted.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra frowned and looked like he was thinking.

"Don't bother, I guess your fur will have to do for now. I'm tired and would like to go to bed." Tomoyo stated with a yawn.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra nodded, but then noticed how Tomoyo was still wet and attempted to point it out to her.

"Hmm, oh, I'm still soaked from the rain aren't I? Haha, I'll fix that later. Let's get you to bed first." Tomoyo giggled. Ulquiorra stared at the whitenette like she was crazy. "What, never had anyone care about you before?" Tomoyo pouted, but then she shook her head, "Anyway, I'll help you into the bed." And that she did, surprisingly she did it without getting anything wet. "I'll join you later, now try and get to sleep." Tomoyo stated as she walked back into the bathroom. With that Ulquiorra laid his head against a pillow and curled up slightly. He about to fall into dreamland when the bed shifted due to an add on of weight. So Ulquiorra opened his eyes to see who it was. Of course it was Tomoyo, who was all dressed up in some frilly human-world white pajamas. "I thought I told you to go to sleep, silly." Tomoyo said softly.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra muttered in a whisper.

"Ssh, just go to bed." Tomoyo yawned and then got under the covers; falling asleep in seconds. Ulquiorra then slowly crawled to the whitenette's side and curled up against her like a cat. He himself yawned and then fell asleep. When Tomoyo woke up, she smiled upon the sight of Ulquiorra curled up at her side; peacefully sleeping. "Hey Moyo, you up yet?" Captain Hitsugaya groaned as he woke up.

"Yeah, I'm awake." Tomoyo replied.

"Good, a hell butterfly is here and I assume it's for me." Hitsugaya muttered as the said Soul Society insect flew in front of his face.

"Alright, kiss me good-bye?" Tomoyo asked as she got out of bed.

"Sure." Hitsugaya muttered with a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Yay." Tomoyo quietly cheered. The 10th Division captain gave his girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek and then walked out the door in a hurry. When Hitsugaya was gone, Ulquiorra started to stir and he sat up. "Morning." Tomoyo smiled and walked back over to the bed to ruffle the little boy's hair.

"Ulqui!" Ulquiorra huffed and pushed the whitenette's hand away.

"Hmph, fine then." Tomoyo playfully pouted and turned away.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra muttered with a pout and crawled over to the edge of the bed.

"Okay, I forgive you. Come on let's get breakfast. What would you like to have, I can cook anything." Tomoyo stated with a proud twinkle in her eyes. Ulquiorra just shook his head. "What? Come on, you have to eat something." Tomoyo groaned. Ulquiorra just shook his head again. "Well, stay here. I need to change. The two of us are going to go visit a good friend of mine." Tomoyo explained as she grabbed her shihakusho, and walked into the bathroom to change. Unable to fight his curiosity, Ulquiorra carefully got down from the bed and walked over to the bathroom door; surprisingly, the door was open a bit. By the time Ulquiorra actually looked in the bathroom, Tomoyo was fully dressed and was putting her hair up with a teal-colored ribbon. At this moment, Tomoyo turned and spotted Ulquiorra at the door. "Ah! Were you trying to peak at me?! Pervert." Tomoyo huffed, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Ulqui!" Ulquiorra squeaked and frowned; his wings drooping to the floor.

"H-Hey, it is okay, no harm has been done." Tomoyo softened up and knelt down to Ulquiorra's level.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra nodded and walked over to Tomoyo. Once the kid was close enough, Tomoyo picked him up. "I guess we're all ready to go see Lyla now." Tomoyo muttered and then left with Ulquiorra; heading to the 13th Division.


	2. Grimmjow

Disclaimer – Bleach is not ours! It belongs to Tite Kubo.

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Within the 13th Division, Tomoyo located Lyla's place with ease. Once at the door, Tomoyo placed Ulquiorra down and she knocked. While waiting for someone to answer the door, a little purple butterfly caught Ulquiorra's attention. He glared at it and his tail swished back and forth. Then, once the flying insect was close enough, Ulquiorra pounced; missing terribly. Ulquiorra hissed slightly and then turned and was about to make a second attempt when someone spoke up. "_You'll never catch it."_

"_Really now?"_ Ulquiorra questioned; losing all interest in the butterfly.

"_Yeah, you think too much. You'll never catch a butterfly that way."_ Out of the bushes came a cat. The cat was all white, with an exception for the top of its head which was light blue. _"Hmph, Grimmjow."_ Ulquiorra huffed.

"_Oh, calling me by my name now are we?" _Grimmjow snickered.

"_Shut it, trash."_ Ulquiorra hissed, his fur fluffing slightly.

"_No."_ Grimmjow hissed back. The two were about to go claw-to-claw when Tomoyo shouted. "Ulquiorra!" The whitenette flash-stepped over and scooped the little guy into her arms.

"Ulqui?" Ulquiorra squeaked.

"Lyla, care to explain this cat?!" Tomoyo yelled towards the house.

"Hmm, oh, that's Grimmkitty! Here boy…" A short woman with blue hair walked out of the house and picked Grimmjow up against his will. Ulquiorra couldn't help but snicker at Grimmjow's pet-name. Grimmjow hissed in response. "Ulquiorra, you're being rude!" Tomoyo flicked the boy in the nose.

While Lyla yelled, "Shut it!" and glared evilly at the cat in her arms.

"Hey, Lyla, there's no need to yell at him that loudly." Tomoyo huffed.

"My cat, my rules, Moyo." Lyla shrugged her shoulders. Tomoyo sighed and nodded. Then Grimmjow wriggled free from Lyla's grip and walked into the house. "He okay?" Tomoyo couldn't help but ask.

"Don't worry about it, he's always moody." Lyla rolled her eyes.

"If you say so." Tomoyo nodded.

"Anyway, come in and sit down. I would like to know more about little Ulquiorra here." Lyla scratched at the back of her head and then walked into the house. Tomoyo followed right behind the bluenette. The two women then took seats in the living room, Ulquiorra being comfortable in Tomoyo's lap. "I found him last night; out in the rain. Other than liking bathes, that's all I really know about him." Tomoyo explained with a giggle; kindly petting Ulquiorra's hair as she did so.

"I see… Well, I found Grimmkitty less than a week ago. All I know about him is that he's very moody and that he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed." Lyla explained. This statement got Ulquiorra to snicker a little. "Ulquiorra, it's rude to laugh at others…stupidity." Tomoyo sighed. This got the bat-boy to look up at the whitenette; the saddest look on tear-streaked face. "I-I'm serious; just because you're cute doesn't mean you'll be forgiven so easily." Tomoyo giggled a little bit.

"Ulqui…" Ulquiorra huffed in defeat. After that, Captain Ukitake walked into the room, holding up Grimmkitty by the scruff. "Lyla, honey, please keep a closer eye on your…pet. He keeps getting into things he shouldn't; like our pond. I swear if he tries to eat another fish…" Ukitake grumbled.

"Oh come on; he's a cat. He's going to try and eat a few fish." Lyla groaned.

"Then get him some cat food, I don't want him eating our koi. Or else." Ukitake warned, putting Grimmkitty back onto the ground.

"Alright, I'm sorry." Lyla sighed.

"Um… Hi." Tomoyo muttered to the white-haired captain.

"Oh, Tomoyo, I forgot you were coming over for a visit today." Ukitake sighed.

"It's alright; everyone forgets something now and again." Tomoyo smiled.

"You are too sweet." Ukitake smiled back.

"Ulqui?" Ulquiorra muttered; making all the attention focus onto him.

"Who is that?" Ukitake asked.

"This is Ulquiorra; I found him the other night. Poor guy was left out in the rain." Tomoyo explained while giving the bat-boy a small back rub between his wings, and the little guy was in heaven.

"Don't you find all this strange?" Ukitake questioned.

"What is strange?" Tomoyo replied.

"How all the Espada were defeated. And yet here are two miniature semi-look-alikes of the sexta and cuatro Espadas." Ukitake explained.

"Oh…" Tomoyo looked down to Ulquiorra, "he done nothing to raise my suspicions; so until then, I'm going to take very good care of him!"

"Alright, I trust you. Just be careful." Ukitake sighed.

"Thank you papa!" Tomoyo cheered… This comment got both Grimmkitty and Ulquiorra to glance at Tomoyo, then the captain, and then back to Tomoyo. "What, you guys don't think we are related?" Tomoyo chuckled.

"Ulqui!"

"Meow!" The both of them fussed. Tomoyo looked over to Grimmkitty, "Did I ask for your opinion?" She asked the cat. This got Lyla to laugh at least. "Um, anyway, how did Toshiro deal with Ulquiorra?" Ukitake asked.

"I haven't been able to tell him yet. He was asleep when I returned home last night and this morning he was heading straight to work." Tomoyo sighed.

"You better tell him as soon as possible." Ukitake nodded.

"I was planning on it; this isn't something I'd keep secret from my boyfriend." Tomoyo replied. This got Ulquiorra to pout, for some reason he couldn't help but feel annoyed at the thought of sharing the kind-hearted Tomoyo. "Aw, is my little Ulqui jealous?" Tomoyo giggled and rubbed the bat-boy's cheek.

"_Yeah, are you actually feeling emotions?" _Grimmjow smirked, the best he could with a muzzle. Ulquiorra just glared at the feline; not wanting to get in trouble for starting a fight. "_Wimp." _Grimmjow teased.

"Grimmkitty, stop messing with Ulquiorra, or else I'll give you a bubble bath." Lyla warned.

"Mew…" Grimmkitty folded back his ears and slowly started to walk backwards.

"That's what I thought. Now why don't we let these two mingle while you and I go out for a bit." Lyla offered.

"Okay. Be good Ulquiorra, please." Tomoyo kissed the top of his head then she removed him from her lap and stood up. Lyla, Ukitake, and Tomoyo then left the house. _"Since when were you so affectionate?"_ Grimmjow huffed as he walked over to Ulquiorra.

"_Even I can't put a finger on why I enjoy the girl's presence so much."_ Ulquiorra shrugged his shoulders.

"_Meh, so have you been in contact with any of the others?"_ Grimmjow asked.

"_No, and I have no idea why we are not in our normal bodies either."_ Ulquiorra replied.

"_Fuck! I can't stand another day being a pet! Ribbons and _dresses_, I'm treated like a doll!" _Grimmjow hissed.

"_And yet you don't run away." _Ulquiorra pointed out.

"_Because I feel so powerless, and Lyla is the devil in disguise! She's worse than Aizen ever was." _Grimmjow growled.

"_So, can you tell me anything about the girl I'm with?"_ Ulquiorra asked.

"_Yeah, she's the daughter of the 13__th__ Division captain, Jushiro Ukitake, who is the white-haired man who was here earlier. And she is also the girlfriend of the 10__th__ Division captain; Toshiro Hitsugaya I think is his name." _Grimmjow explained. Ulquiorra only nodded. Then the purple butterfly came back, fluttering into the room. Ulquiorra couldn't help but glare at the pest. The butterfly then flew outside and Ulquiorra gave chase. With Grimmjow right behind him.


	3. Starrk

Disclaimer – Bleach is not ours! It belongs to Tite Kubo.

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Ulquiorra and Grimmjow ended up in a makeshift lawn outside. "_Hmm, would you tell on me if I stole a fish from the pond?" _Grimmjow questioned the bat next to him.

"_Of course I'd tell. Did you not just get in trouble for attempting to steal fish earlier?"_ Ulquiorra replied.

"_So, what of it?"_ Grimmjow huffed.

"_Why would you risk getting in trouble like that?"_ Ulquiorra asked.

"_When it comes to fish anything's worth it." _ Grimmjow shrugged his kitty-cat shoulders.

"_Imbecile."_ Ulquiorra sighed.

"_Whatever, why don't you go and play with that stupid butterfly?"_ Grimmjow growled and raised a paw to point at the purple insect. And with that, Grimmjow turned tail and walked off. When the cat was gone, the butterfly fluttered over and landed on top of the bat-boy's head. Ulquiorra was not going to allow the pest to use him as a rest stop, so the bat did the only thing he knew to do; he swatted at it. However, every time he tried, the butterfly would fly off and then back. After the fifth time, Ulquiorra gave up on catching the flying insect. As he sat in defeat, a very delectable scent wafted up his nose. Curious now, Ulquiorra tried to locate a scent trail to find out the source. He ended up walking up to Tomoyo, who happened to have a small grocery bag with her. "Hey there Ulqui, what are you doing? Haha, anyway I was just coming to pick you up for lunch. Sorry I was gone so long." Tomoyo giggled. Ulquiorra nodded to her; but he kept his focus on the bag in her hand, which happened to be the source of the sweet smell. "Come on, you can see what I bought when we get home. And please no attacking Toshiro." Tomoyo huffed playfully.

"Ulqui." Ulquiorra nodded again and took hold of the whitenette's free hand. Tomoyo smiled and then the pair walked to home sweet home. When at the house, Tomoyo went straight to the kitchen. Determined to figure out what was producing the smell in the bag, Ulquiorra stayed in the kitchen with Tomoyo. "You sure are one curious little guy." Tomoyo stated as she started laying out the groceries on the counter top. Ulquiorra ignored the comment as he scanned the items that were placed on the counter. There were pieces of watermelon, bread, pasta noodles, green tea, and…a red fruit? Ulquiorra stared intensely at the new and strange food. "What's wrong Ulqui?" Tomoyo followed the bat's line of sight, "Hmm, never seen a tomato before? Here, you can have a piece if you want." The whitenette then cut a slim piece off of the red fruit and handed it to the chibi bat. Ulquiorra sniffed at the food before he finally placed it in his mouth. Ulquiorra's green orbs widened and he happily licked his lips. "You like it? Here, you can have the whole tomato; truthfully I was going to throw it at Lyla anyway." Tomoyo handed Ulquiorra the red fruit which he gladly accepted. "You are too cute!" Tomoyo squealed. Ulquiorra looked away in embarrassment. "Anyway, Toshiro should be here soon." Tomoyo muttered more to herself than to Ulquiorra.

"Ulqui." The bat squeaked and walked to the front door to wait for Toshiro. Right then, said white-haired captain walked in the house. "Moyo, I'm home." Toshiro said tiredly.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Tomoyo replied. Toshiro nodded, and then noticed Ulquiorra standing next to him. The captain's hands went straight to Hyōrinmaru's handle. Tomoyo gasped suddenly, "Toshi, don't attack Ulquiorra! I promise I'll explain."

"Ulqui!" Ulquiorra ran into the kitchen to stand by Tomoyo.

"Then you better start explaining. Now!" Toshiro exclaimed. With that Tomoyo walked out of the kitchen. "I found him last night; out in the rain. He seemed harmless so I'm taking care of him. Ukitake told me that he looks like an Espada, but for now he isn't a threat." The whitenette explained.

"If Captain Ukitake is fine with this. Then so am I." Toshiro sighed and finally relaxed.

"Well, I got some watermelon; care to have some with me?" Tomoyo asked as she hugged her boyfriend from behind.

"Watermelon does sound good right now…" Toshiro murmured.

"Then I'll grab the fruit and meet you outside." Tomoyo smiled and went back into the kitchen. So the whitenette grabbed the said food and was just about out the door when she stopped. "I'm sorry… Ulquiorra, come one, you can join us." Tomoyo called back.

"Is he really coming along?" Toshiro muttered.

"Problem?" Tomoyo pouted.

"N-No." Toshiro sighed. Tomoyo then smiled and headed outside. When out in the garden Tomoyo sat under the sakura tree and waited for the other two to catch up with her. To her surprise, Toshiro was actually holding Ulquiorra. "Aw, too cute!" Tomoyo squealed like a high school girl. Both Toshiro and Ulquiorra frowned at her comment. "Oh come on, lighten up!" Tomoyo sighed. Toshiro just rolled his eyes as he sat next to his girl under the tree. The three then ate the watermelon, seeds ended up all over. "This is quite the day. I'm so happy." Tomoyo murmured as she leaned against the 10th Division captain's shoulder.

"And happy to know that you are happy." Toshiro replied.

"Ulqui…" Ulquiorra chirped in his sleep.

"Told you he was harmless." Tomoyo stated. Toshiro just shook his head. The two white-haired soul reapers then went in for a kiss, but things got caught short when Tomoyo heard a dog barking. "What would a dog be doing here?" Tomoyo wondered and then stood up. The whitenette then started looking around. Even Ulquiorra woke up to help her search. At this point something jumped from the bushes and tackled Ulquiorra to the ground. "Woof, woof." The creature on top of Ulquiorra lazily wagged its tail. It looked like a seven year old boy, with shoulder length brown hair, brown triangular wolf ears, a long brown furry wolf tail, and he wore a white shihakusho. "Another one?" Toshiro groaned.

"Um hey there…" Tomoyo knelt down.

"Woo?" The wolf-boy whined and looked at Tomoyo. Using this chance, Ulquiorra crawled out from under the other boy and he hid behind Tomoyo. "What's wrong Ulquiorra?" Tomoyo patted the boy's raven-colored hair. To her it seemed that the bat was just embarrassed, so she let things slide. Returning her attention to the wolf chibi, Tomoyo stared him down. "Now what are you doing here?" Tomoyo asked him.

But all she got was a "Woof." So Tomoyo sighed and picked up Ulquiorra. "Tomoyo?" Toshiro walked over to her.

"Let's go home…and bring him along. Right Coyote?" Tomoyo smiled to the wolf-boy. He looked up at her in surprise but nodded. "Coyote?" Toshiro questioned as he took the hand of the brown-haired boy.

"He looks like a coyote." Tomoyo shrugged her shoulders. The four then headed back to the house for the day. When home, Tomoyo and Toshiro settled on the couch, while Coyote kept trying to fall asleep on top of Ulquiorra. "So cute… It's like having kids of our own." Tomoyo whispered to Toshiro.

"S-Shut it." Toshiro growled with a blush across his cheeks.

"Ulqui!" The bat's shout caught Tomoyo's attention. It appeared that Coyote finally pinned Ulquiorra down to the floor. "Hey, you better not be trying to do anything dirty!" Tomoyo squeaked and pulled Coyote off of Ulquiorra. "Woo." Coyote whined and whimpered.

"No, no." Tomoyo waggled a finger in his face, and then she placed him on the couch. The wolf-boy yawned and then fell asleep. "You okay Ulquiorra?" Tomoyo asked.

"Ulqui." The bat nodded.

"How does a bath sound?" Tomoyo suddenly asked. Ulquiorra nodded happily. "Alright. I'll give Ulquiorra a bath; see you in a little bit Toshiro, watch Coyote for me please." Tomoyo picked up the Ulquiorra and then walked into the bathroom. Even though Ulquiorra still disliked the thought of being forced into a bubble bath, he loved the idea of getting cleaned. When the bath was ready, Tomoyo set Ulquiorra into the water. She was able to get shampoo into Ulquiorra's hair before Toshiro started knocking on the door. "I'll be right back, go ahead and rinse off." Tomoyo explained as she temporally left the bathroom. So Ulquiorra dunked his head under the bubbly water in an attempt to wash out his hair. When he resurfaced Ulquiorra felt a sudden shiver drift over his little body… He groaned and slipped under the water.


	4. Nnoitra

Disclaimer – Bleach is not ours! It belongs to Tite Kubo.

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"Alright, I'm back…" Tomoyo walked back into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. At this moment Ulquiorra came out of the water, coughing slightly. "Ulquiorra?!" Tomoyo brought all her attention the bat.

"What's wrong?" Ulquiorra muttered.

"Y-You…" Tomoyo closed her eyes and a blush crept across her face. Extremely confused now, Ulquiorra looked at himself to try and see what the whitenette saw. To his surprise he was back to normal; he was still in his full release form though. "Can you understand me now?" Ulquiorra asked. Tomoyo just nodded, her eyes still closed. "I am not naked." Ulquiorra stated; which was slightly true, his fur did still cover his nether regions.

"R-Right… I'm going to go get you some clothes anyway. G-Go ahead and finish your bath." Tomoyo then left the bathroom. The white-haired soul reaper came back with a shihakusho in hand. "This is the best I can do. It's one of my uniforms, I know I'm shorter than you but this should fit." Tomoyo explained as she placed the clothes on the bathroom counter and then left again. Ulquiorra then finished up with his bath; dried off, and put on the clothes he was given. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom. He was wearing a shinigami shihakusho, not his Espada uniform… and to add insult to injury it belong to a woman. Although, Ulquiorra couldn't help but enjoy how Tomoyo's natural peachy scent lingered on the shihakusho. Ulquiorra shook his head and then finally left the bathroom; only to get Coyote clinging to his leg. Looking up from the chibi on his leg, Ulquiorra noticed how Toshiro was watching him like a hawk. "I am no different from before." Ulquiorra attempted to explain.

"I know, but it doesn't mean I should be any less cautious." Toshiro replied.

"Toshiro… He is my responsibly, not yours." Tomoyo pouted. The two white-haired soul reapers then stared at one another; communicating without words. Toshiro then looked to Ulquiorra, "If you hurt her in anyway – you're dead."

"Understood." Ulquiorra nodded in agreement.

"Thank you Toshi." Tomoyo hugged the living daylights out of the short captain. Everyone in the room smiled at the whitenette's action; well except for Ulquiorra, but you could tell he was happy… "Now, what are we going to do about sleeping arrangements; because Ulquiorra can't sleep in bed with me again." Tomoyo questioned.

"He what?" Toshiro glared at his girlfriend.

"Not like that you little pervert!" Tomoyo flicked the captain on the nose.

"Hey!" Toshiro crossed his arms over his chest.

"… You know I have an idea. Toshiro and I can go and set up futons in our division offices. Ulquiorra, you and Coyote can sleep here." Tomoyo explained.

"Someone needs to be here and watch them." Toshiro declined the idea.

"Besides, I do not wish to kick you out of your house." Ulquiorra stated. Tomoyo sighed and then tried to think things over. "Well, I think I have a spare futon here. I'll just find a place to put it." Tomoyo scratched at the back of her head.

"Fine." Toshiro nodded.

"Good." Tomoyo sighed. In other news, Lyla was also having one hell of a night. She had gotten drunk after partying with Rangiku and she also was able to get a few things out of her boyfriend, Captain Ukitake. So the woman happily passed out on her bed at home without a single thought. She never even noticed how Grimmkitty was in the bed with her. When she woke up, Lyla noticed that the bed was heavier than usual; and she knew for a fact that Jushiro didn't join her in bed. So she immediately turned to see what was in her bed; and see ended up getting a good view of a full moon. "What the fuck?!" Lyla screamed and jumped back; ending up on the ground.

"Why are you so loud in the morning?" The owner of the firm behind hissed and sat up on the bed.

"Who the hell are you?" Lyla growled as she stood up; and did her best not to stare at the man's naked body.

"Hmm?" The blue-haired man looked curiously around the room. That's when Lyla noticed that the man had large cat ears and a white cat tail. "Grimmkitty?" Lyla muttered.

"What?" The man huffed.

"Holy crap!" Lyla groaned and clenched her hair in frustration. Confused, the man looked down at himself… "I'm back, heck yeah!" The man smiled from ear-to-ear.

"Are you really my cat?" Lyla asked as she calmed down.

"Yeah, and the name's Grimmjow." The man huffed.

"Whatever, now let's go find you some pants. My little boy shouldn't be running around naked." Lyla stated slightly in a mother-like fashion.

"I am not your son, no matter how closely related we look," Grimmjow growled, "besides, I'm like 25 and you're like 23!"

Lyla pouted, "It doesn't matter; now here, put these on." The bluenette pulled a pair of pants and boxers from a drawer and threw them at Grimmjow.

"Fine…" Grimmjow rolled his eyes and slipped on the clothes given to him.

"Good boy. Now I probably should call a family meeting." Lyla muttered as she walked over and patted Grimmjow on the head. Grimmjow hissed at Lyla for touching him. Lyla sighed and then pulled out a phone, dialing a number. "Hey Moyo! I think we should have a family meeting. Why? You'll see when you get here! Okay, bye." Lyla then hung up and went to her drawer to slip on some clothes and then she went out to sit at the pond. "Um, aren't you going to give me a shirt?" Grimmjow asked.

"Nope! Now come here." Lyla patted the spot to her left. Grimmjow growled and rolled his eyes, but walked over and sat next to the bluenette anyway. While waiting for others to arrive, something started to rustle in the taller grass of the garden. Just then a pair of antenna popped up from the said grass. "Aaahh! B-BUG!" Lyla squeaked and hid behind Grimmjow.

"Hey, I'm no bug!" The owner of the antenna yelled; finally coming fully out of the grass. It was really small guy, he was around the size of a laptop screen; he wore an eye patch and a white shihakusho. His hair was long and black, which had two uneven antennas sticking out of it at the top. "Nnoitra?" Grimmjow spoke while trying to suppress laughter.

"Something funny to you?" The tiny Espada growled.

"Yeah, your size. You are so small, like a baby!" Lyla started to giggle.

"H-Hey!" Nnoitra frowned and blushed slightly in embarrassment. And to make the situation worse, Lyla walked over and picked up the little bug. "Aww, you're not scary. You're adorable." Lyla gave him a hug.

"Me, cute? Never! Now unhand me woman!" Nnoitra struggled in the soul reaper's hold.

"Denial." Lyla cooed. And at that point Grimmjow could no longer keep back his fit of laughter. He laughed so hard that he almost fell into the pond behind him. "Hey, what's going on here?" It was Tomoyo.


	5. Harribel

Disclaimer – Bleach is not ours! It belongs to Tite Kubo.

* * *

Lyla looked up from the little Espada in her arms to see Tomoyo. The bluenette was surprised to see the rest of the "family" behind her, as well as a full-sized Ulquiorra and a little chibi latched onto the bat's leg. In order there was Tomoyo, Toshiro, Ulquiorra and the chibi, Jushiro, Shunsui, Rose, Kenpachi and Yachiru. "You guys got here quick." Lyla stated.

"You said it was urgent." Tomoyo replied.

"It would seem that Lyla has had the same run in with her cat like we had with Ulquiorra." Toshiro explained.

"I can see that." Lyla stated as she gestured for everyone to find a spot to sit so they all could talk.

When everyone was seated, Grimmjow spoke up, "Care to explain the family connections to everyone first?" Ulquiorra and Nnoitra nodded in agreement. "Allow me." Tomoyo raised her hand in the air.

"Go ahead." Lyla nodded.

"Okay, first off, my parents are Jushiro and Rose. While Lyla's dad is Kenpachi; meaning Yachiru is her adoptive sister. Shunsui is here because he and Rose are lovers; I was kind of an accident. Jushiro is now Lyla's boyfriend, and Toshiro is mine." Tomoyo explained the best she could.

"That sounded all messed up." Nnoitra commented.

"Shut it bug." Grimmjow huffed.

"Anyway, we are here to talk about these Espada look-alikes right?" Shunsui asked with a yawn.

"Excuse me… We are the Espadas." Ulquiorra stated.

"And we have no idea what's going on, we're just as clueless as you." Grimmjow added.

"That's not good… but it isn't necessarily bad either." Tomoyo stated.

"May I ask, how many Espada to we have here?" Rose asked.

"4; There's Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Starrk, and me." Nnoitra answered.

"That leaves 6 that are unaccounted for." Jushiro replies.

"On another note, it seems that they start as chibi-things, and then return to full-size, but never normal." Shunsui explained.

"But we have yet to figure out when they change back or why." Tomoyo sighs.

"That reminds me, when did Ulquiorra change back and what were you doing?" Lyla asked her whitenette friend.

"It was last night while I was giving him a bath." Tomoyo answers.

"And Grimmjow changed this morning, as far as I know." Lyla replied. Things then grew quiet, minus some cricket noise (which happened to be the sound of Nnoitra's antennas twitching). "Ahem, so, first things first, someone needs to tell Captain Yamato about all this." Tomoyo spoke up from the silence.

"I'll go." Rose volunteered.

"Okay." Both Tomoyo and Lyla replied.

"For now it does seem that we are all on babysitting duty." Shunsui chuckled.

"It seems that way. But I guess we should also be on the lookout for any other Espadas." Tomoyo concluded.

"Good idea." Jushiro nodded. Everyone else, minus Nnoitra and Kenpachi, agreed. "Is this meeting over now?" Kenpachi groaned.

"Yes sir, that means you can leave." Tomoyo sighed. Kenpachi huffed and then left with Yachiru. "Guess I'll go too, I don't want to keep Rose waiting for too long." Shunsui stated as he sat up.

"See you later then." Tomoyo smiled to the 8th Division captain. Just then though, bubbles came up from the pond. "Grimmjow…" Jushiro glared at the cat-man.

"It wasn't me!" Grimmjow hissed back. The bubble maker then came out of the water; it was a chibi-girl with blond hair and boobs almost as big as her. "Harribel!" Grimmjow spat.

"Hmm, what a fine looking woman; for a chibi-Espada that is." Shunsui smirked. But then he got smacked upside the head by Rose. "Ow, I didn't expect you to return so quickly." Shunsui stated as he rubbed the back of his head.

"And I didn't expect you to flirt with women anymore, but it looks like I was wrong." Rose pouted.

"H-Hey, you know I was just messing around." Shunsui gave the blond 3rd Division captain a hug.

"Go get a room!" Tomoyo shouted with a blush dusting her cheeks.

"Sorry!" Rose replied and then glared at Shunsui. The 8th Division captain then sighed and walked away; Rose following right behind him. "Well then, who is Harribel staying with?" Toshiro asked, all while staring at the shark in the pond.

"We can care for her since she is in our pond. Besides, I know you and her aren't too friendly with one another." Jushiro answers.

"I don't really care." The blond Espada stated.

"It's settled then. That was easy." Tomoyo clapped her hands together. At this moment a hell butterfly flutters over and lands on Tomoyo's shoulder. "…Bad news, I have to go on a scouting mission in Hueco Mundo." The whitenette sighed as the butterfly then flew away.

"By yourself?" Ulquiorra questioned.

"Hey, I'm stronger then I look! I am the third seat of the 6th Division after all!" Tomoyo stated proudly.

"Just be careful." Toshiro sighed.

"I will. After all, there aren't any Espadas or Aizen to worry about." Tomoyo replied.

"You never know." Ulquiorra stated.

"What part of I'll be fine do you boys not understand?!" Tomoyo huffed.

"Dudes, just let her go. She'll be fine." Lyla finally spoke up; which was followed by Jushiro nodding. With that, Tomoyo left the Seireitei. "Alright you two, let's go. You'll have to stay with me in the 10th Division while I do my paperwork." Toshiro sighed as he turned to go. Ulquiorra picked up Coyote and then proceeded to follow the short white-haired captain.


End file.
